5275 Master / Apprentice

[Strylian]

1st Cimmerians Lord Commander Deathbringer, your journey has just begun, death is just the beginning.

Let us all have a moment of silence for the Lord Commander.

His Most Glorious and Magnanimous Barbarian King Conan sends his regards to the Great Randevouzs of Kingdom. He apologizes for our tardiness but it took a while to inventory and categories all the loot taken from the Dark Elven capital that was left behind when their King ran away.

Tis true that Lord Commander Deathbringer has died in combat. He is one of many well-trained leaders of men that fill the ranks of the Cimmerian Armies.

He was fond of quoting another great warrior named General Chesty Puller who would say about leadership, "First you feed the privates, then you feed the sergeants, and the officers get what's left over."

This wise and sacred leader of Elite Soldiers understood the need for commanders to take care of their men and not waste their lives.

Lord Commander Deathbringer last words before being struck down by the dark magic of the Dark Elves was.

"It is easy to see that the Dark Elves are not a sailing people. If they where they would know that a Captain who intentionally keeps ramming his ships against the rocks will soon find it impossible to find anyone to sail with him. These brave soldiers who die before our armies deserve better. If only I could be their commander then we may have a real fight"

He was slain then, so we are sure he passed over to teach the Armies of the Dark Elves how to fight.

After the battle, we had a minute of silence for all of our fallen. It lasted an entire five minutes. Then we had a minute of celebration for each of our fallen enemies. The party still continues and the battle ended last week.

Fear not for your Daughters that you left behind Elf of the twisted magic for King Conan has taken them into his harem and soon he will be able to call your King his Baby Momma's Daddy. His grandchildren will know him by his portrait that will hang in the hall of the defeated.

Soon your King will have no more places to run and will have to stand before His Most Glorious Barbarian Majesty and answer to him, "Why did you misbehave so badly as to make me have to come all the way out here to spank you like this?" What will the Dark Elven King say to this question?

To all other King Conan would like to invite you to a party at the Dark Elven King's palace.

Sincerely,
Ambassador to the Counsel Of Kingdoms for the Cimmerian Peoples
Lord Strylian.

[The Painted Man]

Lord Elf, we’ve heard from the Amazons and wanted to check on our other borders. We’re willing to play nice (or at least not play mean) if you are. Please let us know your thoughts.

Hello Lord Elf,

Just wanted to check in here. It's hard to tell if it is intentional silence or just waiting to see if the barbarians needed more time for their chest thumping. I presume it's the latter, but do let us know. We'd welcome a break from teaching others how to be more rangerly.

Regards,
Arlen
The worlds most rangerly ranger that ever ranged.

[Strylian]

Lord Elf, we’ve heard from the Amazons and wanted to check on our other borders. We’re willing to play nice (or at least not play mean) if you are. Please let us know your thoughts.

Hello Lord Elf,

Just wanted to check in here. It's hard to tell if it is intentional silence or just waiting to see if the barbarians needed more time for their chest thumping. I presume it's the latter, but do let us know. We'd welcome a break from teaching others how to be more rangerly.

Regards,
Arlen
The worlds most rangerly ranger that ever ranged.

When your chest is as big as his most Gracious Barbarian King Conan it requires a large amount of thumping.

[The Painted Man]

Lord Elf, we’ve heard from the Amazons and wanted to check on our other borders. We’re willing to play nice (or at least not play mean) if you are. Please let us know your thoughts.

Hello Lord Elf,

Just wanted to check in here. It's hard to tell if it is intentional silence or just waiting to see if the barbarians needed more time for their chest thumping. I presume it's the latter, but do let us know. We'd welcome a break from teaching others how to be more rangerly.

Regards,
Arlen
The worlds most rangerly ranger that ever ranged.

When your chest is as big as his most Gracious Barbarian King Conan it requires a large amount of thumping.

Interesting and a fun cultural difference. Moobs are all the rage out west; noted.

[Strylian]

Lord Elf, we’ve heard from the Amazons and wanted to check on our other borders. We’re willing to play nice (or at least not play mean) if you are. Please let us know your thoughts.

Hello Lord Elf,

Just wanted to check in here. It's hard to tell if it is intentional silence or just waiting to see if the barbarians needed more time for their chest thumping. I presume it's the latter, but do let us know. We'd welcome a break from teaching others how to be more rangerly.

Regards,
Arlen
The worlds most rangerly ranger that ever ranged.

When your chest is as big as his most Gracious Barbarian King Conan it requires a large amount of thumping.

Interesting and a fun cultural difference. Moobs are all the rage out west; noted.

Good Ranger King, has your unit Manly Men in Tights reached elite status yet?

[The Painted Man]

Lord Elf, we’ve heard from the Amazons and wanted to check on our other borders. We’re willing to play nice (or at least not play mean) if you are. Please let us know your thoughts.

Hello Lord Elf,

Just wanted to check in here. It's hard to tell if it is intentional silence or just waiting to see if the barbarians needed more time for their chest thumping. I presume it's the latter, but do let us know. We'd welcome a break from teaching others how to be more rangerly.

Regards,
Arlen
The worlds most rangerly ranger that ever ranged.

When your chest is as big as his most Gracious Barbarian King Conan it requires a large amount of thumping.

Interesting and a fun cultural difference. Moobs are all the rage out west; noted.

Good Ranger King, has your unit Manly Men in Tights reached elite status yet?

We start there. Shame that's where your own 'men' cap out. One day you'll learn to appreciate the benefits of compression pants. If we don't show you, the Amazons will... Though they call them 'yoga pants'. In the meantime, enjoy moobing it up with the Drow. I hear you both skip leg day.

[Strylian]

Hello Lord Elf,

Just wanted to check in here. It's hard to tell if it is intentional silence or just waiting to see if the barbarians needed more time for their chest thumping. I presume it's the latter, but do let us know. We'd welcome a break from teaching others how to be more rangerly.

Regards,
Arlen
The worlds most rangerly ranger that ever ranged.

When your chest is as big as his most Gracious Barbarian King Conan it requires a large amount of thumping.

Interesting and a fun cultural difference. Moobs are all the rage out west; noted.

Good Ranger King, has your unit Manly Men in Tights reached elite status yet?

We start there. Shame that's where your own 'men' cap out. One day you'll learn to appreciate the benefits of compression pants. If we don't show you, the Amazons will... Though they call them 'yoga pants'. In the meantime, enjoy moobing it up with the Drow. I hear you both skip leg day.

We are well aware of their elite statues at poking things with their little spears. It probably comes from the bloddof the Fairies that flow through their veins. But what about thir ability to wield a sword in warfare? Do they still stop to smell the roses during a fight?

[The Painted Man]

Yes, we do. We've normally more than enough time in between cavalry charges. And roses smell lovely.

[Strylian]

Yes, we do. We've normally more than enough time in between cavalry charges. And roses smell lovely.

We prefer the smell of our enemies pants as they run away in fear. We will send you some to fertilize your roses.

[The Painted Man]

Lord Elf, we’ve heard from the Amazons and wanted to check on our other borders. We’re willing to play nice (or at least not play mean) if you are. Please let us know your thoughts.

Hello Lord Elf,

Just wanted to check in here. It's hard to tell if it is intentional silence or just waiting to see if the barbarians needed more time for their chest thumping. I presume it's the latter, but do let us know. We'd welcome a break from teaching others how to be more rangerly.

Regards,
Arlen
The worlds most rangerly ranger that ever ranged.

One final check whilst waiting on flights. I hope all is well!